You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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