He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize