Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
