where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
