Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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