u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
