I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
