Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
