I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
