need another drink. this is the easiest way
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
