I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
