You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
