i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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