it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
