boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
