Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
