i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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