I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
