you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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