can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
you traded sex for a burrito?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
