Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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