i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
