sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize