Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
