wat bout pragnant strippers??
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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