I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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