I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you would pick up someone in the library
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize