Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
