fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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