so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
