what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
