A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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