if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
