You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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