I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize