walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
