Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
