We need to rekindle our bromance
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
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