I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
