Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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