So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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