my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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