she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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