Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I need to sanitize my soul.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Randomize
