Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Sext me about skeletons
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
