Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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