Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
