I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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