My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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