You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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