just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
she smelled like a LAN party
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
