At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
