His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Randomize
