I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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