Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
