you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
