one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
