Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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