Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
