is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i will never coherently bang her
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
