working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
