I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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