problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
