So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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