We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
