i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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