Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Operation Purity has been aborted
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
