after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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