@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
