Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
