Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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