these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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