i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
