I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
